Nightmares vs. Night Terrors: what’s the difference & what to do?
Middle-of-the-night scares can be unsettling for parents, especially when you’re half-awake and trying to make sense of what you’re seeing or hearing. Is it a nightmare? A night terror? Should you go in? Wake them up? Offer comfort or stay back?
From the monitor, these episodes can look and sound similar. But what’s happening in your child’s brain and what they actually need from you can be very different.
Although nightmares and night terrors are often lumped together, they’re caused by different sleep states and call for different responses. Understanding that difference can take a lot of the fear and guesswork out of those long nights.
Nightmares
Nightmares are bad dreams that happen during REM sleep, the stage of sleep when dreaming occurs. They are a normal part of brain development and emotional processing.
Nightmares typically affect toddlers, preschoolers, and older children. Young babies do not experience nightmares in the way older children do.
What do nightmares look like?
When a child wakes from a nightmare, they are usually:
Fully awake
Scared, startled, or upset
Able to tell you what the dream was about
Seeking comfort and reassurance
A common example is a toddler waking around 5–6 a.m., crying about a scary monster or upsetting dream and clearly remembering what happened.
Why they happen:
Nightmares often occur because a child’s brain is actively sorting through experiences, emotions, and new information. They can also show up more frequently when a child is overtired.
Tired kids may crash hard, but that doesn’t always mean they sleep well.
Busy days with lots of stimulation (daycare, swim lessons, gymnastics, long outings, skipped naps) can increase the likelihood of nightmares.
How to respond:
A child who just had a nightmare will respond well to comfort. Your goal is to help your child feel safe and grounded.
Helpful responses include:
Calm reassurance: “That was a dream. You’re safe. I’m right here.”
Physical comfort, like a hug or gentle pressure
Keeping the interaction brief and soothing rather than turning it into a long conversation
Turning on a dim red light if needed
Once your child is calm, gently guide them back to sleep.
How to prevent nightmares:
Limit screens for at least 90 minutes before bedtime
Be mindful of the media your child is exposed to and remove anything that isn’t age-appropriate
Avoid checking under the bed or in the closet for monsters– this can unintentionally signal that the fear is real
If nightmares are frequent, you might want to experiment with an earlier bedtime, especially after particularly active days.
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Night Terrors
Night terrors are episodes of partial arousal from deep non-REM sleep, not dreams. They tend to happen early in the night and are far more distressing for parents than for children.
They most commonly affect children between 3 and 6 years old, though they can occur anytime from age 1 through adolescence. Only about 3–6% of children experience them, which is why it’s important to identify them correctly and differentiate them from nightmares.
What do night terrors look like?
During a true night terror, a child may:
Sit up suddenly and scream
Thrash or appear panicked
Seem awake but not truly responsive
Push you away or become more upset if you try to comfort them
After a few minutes, they usually settle on their own and return to sleep.
Importantly, your child has no memory of the event the next morning. Even though the night terror is unsettling for you, there’s a small comfort in knowing that your child will not remember it.
A typical example is a child who falls asleep around 7 p.m. and has an episode between 8–10 p.m., appearing terrified but still mostly asleep.
Why they happen:
Night terrors are commonly linked to overtiredness or accumulated fatigue, but some studies do suggest that there is a strong genetic link, meaning some children are simply more predisposed. However, things like sleep loss, sickness, or stress tend to bring them to the surface.
How to respond:
As hard as it is, the best approach is often not to intervene.
During a night terror:
Do not wake your child
Keep them safe– thrashing or jerking have the potential to cause an injury, so make sure they are safe from any falls or hard hits
Stay nearby and let the episode pass
Most episodes last 5–20 minutes and resolve on their own. If the night terror episodes are persisting longer than 20 minutes or involve drooling, stiffening, or violent jerking, you should consult your pediatrician.
How can you reduce night terrors?
Evaluate your child’s total sleep– are they consistently getting enough?
An earlier bedtime can make a significant difference
Maintain a predictable routine and stable sleep schedule
Night terrors can feel intense and alarming, but they are not harmful and typically fade as a child matures.
When to take a deeper look
Whether you’re dealing with nightmares or night terrors, if they’re occurring night after night for a couple of weeks instead of just occasionally, you might want to take a closer look at:
Total sleep in a 24-hour period
Bedtime timing
Daytime overstimulation
Overall schedule consistency
Your child’s diet– heavy or sugary foods close to bedtime have been known to trigger nightmares or poor sleep
Small adjustments can have a big impact over time, and you can always consult your child’s pediatrician if you have concerns about recurring disruptions.
Take a deep breath.
You’re doing a great job.
Sleep challenges are rarely about “doing something wrong.” More often, they’re about understanding what your child’s needs are and responding in a way that supports everyone’s rest.
If you're looking for some guidance on how to achieve better rest for the whole family, you can find my most requested FREE sleep resources HERE.
