How to transition from bed-sharing to crib sleep (with zero judgement)
Let’s start here: you haven’t done anything wrong.
If you’ve been bed-sharing, whether it was a conscious choice or a 2am survival decision, there’s no shame in it. None.
Your baby has been safe and loved. You’ve made the best decisions you could with the information and energy you had in the moment.
If bed-sharing is working beautifully for your family, I’m genuinely thrilled for you.
But if you’re reading this while on your second cup of coffee, your body aching from sleeping sideways, and your to-do list backed up because naps mean the whole house shuts down, this might be for you.
Be honest: how do you want to sleep?
What do you want naps, evenings, and nights to look like for your family?
Do you want a predictable day time and night sleep rhythm?
Do you want naps to be in the crib and not on you or in your space?
Do you want to go to bed at a time you choose?
Do you want to wake up more rested and more present with your child in the morning?
Do you want to wake up before your child?
You’re allowed to want those things, especially when they ensure quality rest for everyone– parents and baby.
Three gentle steps for transitioning out of bed-sharing
When families come to me ready to move away from bed-sharing, we look at the big picture and start with manageable steps.
Start with routine and rhythm changes
Before any crib transition begins, it helps to align your baby’s sleep schedule and their internal body clock.
Start the day at the same time each morning. This regulates the circadian rhythm and sets the tone for naps and bedtime.
Ensure naps are well-timed and age-appropriate. We want just enough daytime sleep to build pressure for a restful night.
Create a bedtime routine that suits your child’s sensory profile. Maybe it’s a warm bath, a dim room, gentle massage, a few lullabies, and a goodnight phrase. The key is consistency.
The goal here is to optimize sleep before changing the settling support. Once these rhythms are solid, then we can start the transition to the crib.
Bridge the separation with familiarity
We want your baby to feel secure and supported while moving to a new sleeping location. Layering on new sleep associations in your current routine that naturally carry over to crib sleep will help ease the transition.
Some tools that help:
Sleep with the crib sheet before using it. Research shows that a mother’s scent can have a calming effect on infants, slowing their heart rate, reducing crying, and even supporting more settled sleep.
Spend time in the nursery during the day. Play there, change diapers there, and normalize the space so they become familiar with it.
Do the bedtime routine in their room. Even if they still fall asleep in your bed, the goal is to associate their space with a calm evening routine.
Add layered sleep associations. A goodnight song, a book, or a goodnight phrase can all become cues to anchor your baby when the sleep location changes. It’s important that some things stay the same during this big change.
Stay in the room for a few nights. You can still be present, even if you’re not sharing a bed. Bring a mattress into their room– your baby will sense your support, and when it’s time, you can move back to your own bed checking on your baby regularly before they drift off the sleep.
Sleep associations | Overcoming the mental load of baby sleep: a guide for tired moms
Move forward with the transition
When you and your baby are ready, begin the transition.
Place your baby in the crib after their trusted bedtime routine
Offer consistent support with your voice or touch while they settle in the crib
Gradually step back night by night as your baby grows more confident in sleeping in their crib
Some families prefer to stay in the room the first few nights, offering reassurance as their baby settles in. Others opt for regular, consistent check-ins.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and that’s the beauty of this work: it adapts to your family.
It might be hard at first, but remember that this is normal. You’re shifting something that’s been deeply ingrained, but you’re doing it with love and care.
Dealing with separation anxiety at bedtime
Remember- sleep training doesn’t have to be scary.
If you’re waking up uncomfortable and cranky, bedtime stretches on for hours, and you're feeling on edge and unsure what the night will bring– it might be time for a change.
And that change doesn’t need to be harsh, rushed, or overwhelming. There’s a gentler approach available.
If you’re ready to create sustainable sleep routines that will have the whole family well rested regardless of how your family is currently sleeping, let’s book a consultation call! I’d love to support you in any way I can.
To better sleep,
Ella